I Have No Idea What I Want to Do With My Life

I really used to envy those people who came into college semi-knowing what they wanted to do with their life. They seemed to have plans and majors/jobs that they felt were their calling. Sociology, the major I came into college with, was far from my calling. I literally read a definition of sociology my junior year of high school and bam, decided that should be my major.

It was okay in the beginning. I took Sociological Imagination during fall semester of freshman year and enjoyed it. But when I was sitting in my first class of Introduction to Sociology Seminar in spring semester, I immediately knew I had to get out and switch my major. After some thought, I settled on graphic design and got myself out of sociology.

Switching was the best decision because I finally feel like I have somewhat of a direction with what I’m doing in school. I’m feeling more confident in my major, loving my classes, proud of what I’m producing and working hard towards my degree. People constantly ask me, though, “What do you want to do with your degree after you graduate?” I never know what to say because I don’t know. I feel so clueless and the mere thought of having to make a decision generally makes me nervous.

All I know for sure is that I want to be in a good place regarding my job and other aspects of my life (mindset, body, etc.)  As far as job titles/careers go…there are so many different things I could be and choosing something is definitely going to take some effort and work on my part. Instead of being a ball of nerves, though, I’m going to take some advice from Tracee Ellis Ross and “allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me.”

I know I always figure things out and that this situation is no exception. I’ll find a job that fits me just like I found a major that fits me. I’m going to try to stop being distraught and terrified over not having everything figured out yet. My plan is to continue being hardworking everyday and get excited about the future. So to everyone who has asked/will ask me about my plans: I honestly don’t know what I want to do with my life. But you better believe I’ll have it figured out someday in the near future.


Let Me RUN Something By You

Picture it – you’ve just finished a hard day of classes and a shift at work. Too many classmates and customers frustrated you. You still have a blog post (paper, lab report, a couple hundred math problems – whichever) half completed and it’s due in two days. You’re pretty much ready to yell and rip your hair out.

Find yourself relating to any of that? Even a little bit? I know I relate…because that’s my life most days out of the week. Yeah, I can get pretty stressed and my patience level at the end of the day tends to be nonexistent, but thankfully, I haven’t ripped my hair out yet.

Instead, I pull it up into a pony tail and run from my problems.

I know what you’re thinking: “Ilanna…running from your problems is super ineffective and doesn’t solve, like, anything” and you would be absolutely correct. You can’t run from your problems and don’t worry, I don’t literally run from them. I technically run them away.

Remember how in my last post, I advocated doing something for yourself? Well, readers, this is mainly what I do for myself: I run. Whether I’m actually running on a track, treadmill, elliptical or ArcTrainer, I try to exercise everyday to keep my sanity intact and my mind clear.

If you rewinded to a few years ago, you’d meet the old Ilanna, who despised exercise. Cardio and I…we weren’t friends. At all. Fat Amy once said it best in the famous movie, Pitch Perfect, when she stated: “Yeah, no, don’t put me down for cardio.” I hated spending years in gym class being forced to run the mile and being constantly reminded how out of shape I was.

However, one fateful day, I decided to accompany my friend to the gym and then, that was it. I was hooked. I started going everyday because everything just felt different. Thoughts and worries stopped weighing me down so much. I had an unclouded head. I physically felt better and eventually moved from loathing the gym to loving it, making going a habit.

So I’m running (ha, get it?!) an idea by you, the strained reader: what if you, too, made it a habit? What if you put your hair up, threw on a t-shirt and started sweating the small stuff? (I’m killin’ it with the puns tonight.) By that, I mean release all the tension in your body by literally sweating through exercise. Think you’d see a difference in your life? I think you would.

You don’t just have to run, either. Run, walk, lift – do whatever you want because you’ll release endorphins. They are those chemicals released when you exercise and, according to WebMD, they trigger a positive feeling in your body. Not only will you feel better emotionally, but WebMD also lists physical benefits of exercise, like a stronger heart, more energy and lower blood pressure.

So, consider changing your relationship with exercise like I did. If you hate exercise, figure out why and work around those reasons. If you’re indifferent, just give it a shot because you have nothing to lose. By changing your relationship with exercise, you’ll also change your relationship with life, both emotionally and physically.